The wedding planning process can be filled with emotional landmines. There are so many expectations that come with planning a wedding and there are a million questions to discuss with your family throughout the process. But, from experience, there are a handful of but getting ahead of these four conversations can ensure everyone’s opinion is heard and accounted for:
WHAT ARE THEIR TOP PRIORITIES FOR THE WEDDING?
Understanding how your parents like to entertain, approach planning and so on can ensure a smoother process. If having the best wine is something your family notices as a wedding, involving them in the wine selection can be a great way to ensure their wishes are honored. Or perhaps they really want to ensure the wedding doesn’t feel too over the top or appear too lavish. Keeping that in mind as you design the aesthetic and guest experience can help. Or maybe they are the ultimate hosts and they simply want to ensure their sense of hospitality is imbedded into the process. Whatever it is, understanding their perspective can help avoid conflict later in the process and even give you a different perspective on how to approach the celebration as a whole.
HOW MUCH DO THEY WANT TO BE INVOLVED?
Do they hope to be a part of every planning meeting? Would they like to be simply kept in the loop as you’re making decisions? Or are they hoping you will take the reins and create the day you dream of (with a few of their preferences kept in mind)? Whatever the vision, ask upfront so you can find the best way to collaborate that works for everyone.
WHO DO THEY EXPECT TO INVITE?
Many couples are surprised to find out that parents want to invite people from your childhood, coworkers you may have not met and more. Keep in mind, while you may not know every person they want to invite, there could be a very important reason for these guests to be included. If there are budget or space limitations or even if your vision is to keep the day very intimate, discussing this early is important so you can understand who is a “must have” vs. who’s on the “nice to have” list.
HOW WOULD THEY LIKE TO BE ADDRESSED ON THE INVITATION?
So many couples underestimate how important formal wording is on the wedding invitation to parents. We see couples opt for “Together With Our Parents” or leave their parents off all together. While etiquette wise it could be completely appropriate to do so, it’s best to have this conversation before your parents receive the invitation in the mail. Have this conversation early and come up with the best solution for all involved.
No matter what, keep in mind that your parents have likely been looking forward to this day since you were born. Even if you aren’t aligned in their preferences, giving them the space to discuss their vision can go a long way in creating an enjoyable planning process.
